If I Were A Carpenter
by tankygirl
Summary: Dan and Serena in the weeks leading up to the birth of their first child.
1. Chapter 1

Dedicated to cj, whose brainchild this is. It's based on the 4th chapter in I Carry Your Heart, but it's not necessary to read it. I'm not sure how long this will be, I have a few chapters planned so far.

The characters belong to the CW, and the song belongs to Bobby Darrin.

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><p><em>If I were a carpenter,<em>

_And you were a lady,_

_Would you marry me anyway?_

_Would you have my baby?_

Red, yellow and green adorn the chest of drawers, and Serena steps back to admire her work. The panels and edges all varied, the pastel colours giving a vibrant vibe to the otherwise stark white room. She tries to tuck a stray strand of golden hair behind her ear without getting paint on her face, carefully leaning against the door jamb. Her belly peeks out from beneath one of Dan's button downs, and she rubs it fondly,

"It's too hot for me today bubby," The loft is air conditioned but she's in the side room which receives all the afternoon sun, and she's trying not to let the paint fumes permeate the rest of their home. Closing the door behind her, Serena makes for the kitchen and washes her hands, glancing at the clock. "Daddy will be home in a half hour buddy, then we get to go see Alison and Jenny, aren't you excited?"

Nothing happens, and Serena grimaces, "Yeah, that's kinda how I feel too." In the weeks since she's been home Serena had taken to talking to the baby quite a bit; first it was when he kicked or moved, then when she was in the nursery or doing her Pilates, and now it's pretty much all the time. She's not used to being in a place that's so empty.

The door opens unexpectedly, and Serena looks over her shoulder to see Dan making his way in, sweat beading on his forehead,

"It is too hot out there for this time of year; this global warming thing is really getting out of control." He says, shedding his tie and rolling up the sleeves of his shirt. He drops his bag to the floor, sidling up to her at the counter and taking her face in his hands and laying a firm kiss on her lips, "How are my girls?"

Serena's lips curl in a small smile, and she leans into him for another kiss, throwing her arms around his shoulders.

"Oh be careful, I am so sweaty it's disgusting."

"I don't care," She mumbles into his neck before leaning back, her hands on his shoulders and his on her ever expanding waist, "And your son and I are fine." Dan shakes his head, grinning at her,

"Still dead set on a boy, huh?"

She nods, "I spend the most time with him, and I'm telling you it's a boy."

Dan shrugs, moving away to grab the jug of iced water from the fridge, "I saw Blair today, she's convinced it's a girl too."

Sliding gently onto a stool, Serena rolls her eyes, "Blair just wants something she can dress up." Dan leans back on the fridge, one hand in his pocket and the other wrapped around the glass of water,

"Maybe, but she did tell me to tell you to consider her name suggestions." His girlfriend remains silent, regarding him with rounded blue eyes and Dan's brow furrows, "Dare I ask?"

Serena shakes her head, reaching for the ice water he poured her, "We have to meet your Mum and sister in an hour, one drama at a time." Dan groans a little, and she giggles a little into her glass.

Allison Humphrey is a good mother, and Dan doesn't begrudge her that, but her relationship with Serena left a lot to be desired. It's no surprise to Serena- given her past with Rufus and Lily- that she's wary of her. Her lifestyle, her morals, her future; Allison had subtly interrogated her about them all over the years, and Serena could even recount a few comments which had been blatantly rude. Jenny's attitude was unpredictable, but her experiences on the Upper East Side tended her more towards her mother's way of thinking. Dan loves his family, but as Serena's due date looms the worse his mother seems to get.

Serena reluctantly hops down from the bench, making her way towards their bedroom to change. Dan smiles at her retreating form, a slight waddle betraying her eight month gestation.

"Wear something loose, it's probably still hot."

She yells from the bedroom irately, "Nothing I own is loose anymore!"

* * *

><p>"Dan!" Allison's eyes light up as she stands to greet him, embracing her son. Jenny follows suit, and Serena stands awkwardly to the side like the metaphorical elephant in the room.<p>

_I could double for an elephant right now, _she thinks, looking down at her the impressive swell of her stomach and larger than normal breasts. She's always been a curvy girl, but since becoming pregnant she feels like a snowman; just one round segment after another. Fluid retention has plagued her for months, and sometimes her ankles and feet become so swollen she had trouble walking.

One thing Allison has in common with Lily is her ability to change temperament on a dime, and she doesn't disappoint. The welcome she had for Dan degenerates into a lukewarm greeting for Serena as she forms a tight smile,

"Hello, Serena, how nice to see you again."

"You too, Allison!" Serena says it in a friendly, hopeful tone, and they embrace awkwardly. She shares a cool look with Jenny, who lifts one side of her mouth in place of a smile. Allison looks down at her stomach with an unreadable expression, but Serena's pretty sure it isn't friendly.

"My, you've just popped right out, haven't you? You're much bigger than when we saw you last." Her tone is what you'd expect from a prospective Grandparent, but when she says it she's looking at Serena's thighs and chest, not her belly. In that moment, Serena could cry.

Dan is ever oblivious, but his hand at the small of her back is encouraging, and she smiles brightly for his sake, "Yes well, not long now. And you know my appetite is proportional to my frame, so we'd better sit down and order."

Their gazes meet and Allison narrows her eyes imperceptibly, while Serena just smiles innocently and sits as close to Dan as possible.

* * *

><p><em>I wish I could drink.<em>

After suffering through the entrée and main, Serena's patience is thinning, and even Dan's hand resting on her thigh isn't helping much anymore. Jenny has kept her eyes on her salad the entire time, as sullen and moody as she was the day she left New York. Their relationship had not improved with time; Jenny blames Serena for driving a wedge between her and Nate- which had remained intact ever since- and Serena still feels the sting of Jenny's betrayal.

They're talking about the food when Allison turns to her, "You know, I'm surprised you were happy with a place like this Serena, I'd have thought it would be too low class for you." The chip she carries on her shoulder is the same Dan used to have, only exponentially bigger and bitterer. Serena quells her urge to retaliate by throwing something, swallowing her pride,

"Yes, well, we eat at places like this a lot now Allison. Brooklyn is full of wonderful hidden café's." Serena sips her water delicately, _Lily would be proud._

Allison nods, "Oh yes, you're staying in the loft right now, aren't you? I guess a hotel suite isn't exactly baby friendly."

_God Mum, why?_ Dan cringes inwardly and squeezes Serena's leg, "You should see the loft, Mum, Serena's been redoing the nursery herself."

"Redoing it?" Jenny's been so silent her voice sounds alien at first, "What for?"

"For the baby?" Serena supplies, picking at the steamed vegetables on her plate and staring at them intently. She can practically hear Jenny roll her eyes,

"Yeah, I know that," She snaps, and Dan shoots her an angry look, "But why redo it? Didn't you decorate it when you had Milo?"

It's a sore subject for them both for different reasons, and an awkward air descends on the table. Serena notices Dan's paled face- it still hurts him a little, even now- and she laces her fingers through his under the table, "Well, since this is _our _baby, we thought it should have a new nursery." She stares Jenny square in the face, speaking in a tone that leaves no room for debate. The younger girl smirks, still full of attitude and shrugs a little,

"Just seems like a waste of time to me."

It takes every ounce of will Serena has not to drag Jenny across the table, and as she digs her nails into Dan's hand he frowns at his sister,

"What is that supposed to mean, Jen?" She shrugs again, turning her attention back to her plate. Serena eyes off Allison's champagne.

_I _really _wish I could drink._

* * *

><p>Dan's not seen Serena move so fast since she's become pregnant, and he's pretty sure the speed at which she leaves the restaurant does not bode well for him. He smiles stiffly at his mother and sister, thanking them for the evening, wishing his father, or Eric or hell, even Nate, had been there. He isn't sure exactly what happened, but the atmosphere was so tense during the meal it was practically palpable.<p>

The most silent cab drive home tops off the night, and Serena ignores him when he offers to help her from the car. Dan groans a little to himself, rubbing the bridge of his nose before following her up to the loft.

Serena drops onto the bed, snuggling into her body pillow. All night she had sat in silence while Dan's mother took thinly veiled jabs at her weight and upbringing as Jenny watched with barely contained amusement, and she finally told them both the food at their restaurant was making her queasy in order to escape. The last person she wants to see right is Dan, who was complicit to the entire evening.

But it's not her night, and he moves into her field of vision, crouching down to look her in the eyes,

"So, are you going to tell me what's wrong, or do I have to guess?"

She frowns, blue eyes icy and closed off. Dan can almost physically feel the room get colder,

"Was it really the food?"

Silence.

He sighs, unbuttoning his shirt and turning his back to her, "Okay, I'll get a notepad and you can explain it to me Pictionary style," He intones flatly. Dan takes off his shirt and reaches for a singlet when something hits him in the back of the head,

"I hate your mother."

Serena's sitting up, hair falling out of her loose low ponytail as she glares angrily at him. Dan stares incredulously at her and picks up the cushion she flung at him, "What? Why?"

She balks, "Seriously? Dan, she spent the whole night taking shots at me, she called me fat!"

"Serena, I did not hear the word 'fat' come out of her mouth once."

Her jaw drops, and she throws another cushion in his direction, "Ahh, no domestic violence!"

"You didn't hear the word 'fat'? Why are you being such a guy right now?" She's fuming, and Dan's not used to this side of Serena so he stands there, shirtless, "'Oh my, you're _much_ bigger than the last time we saw you, are you sure those fries are good for the baby? We found a store in Hudson that sells plus-size maternity bras'," Her voice is nasal and high pitched,

"Is that supposed to be my mother?" Dan asks, brow furrowed in confusion. His girlfriend sniffs, and he thinks she's being cute until he notices the quiver to her bottom lip. Moving swiftly to the bed, he cautiously sits down and places a hand gently on her calf.

"Hey, Serena…"

"I am fat, she's right," A tear rolls down the apple of her cheek, and he shakes his head, "You are pregnant, not fat, you know that."

"Oh yeah? You're touching my leg, you tell me that isn't a fat ankle." She buries her face in the body pillow, her shoulders shaking a little. Dan regards the remaining cushions, hoping she isn't still feeling aggressive as he moves up to sit next to her head, brushing her wayward strands of hair back from her face,

"I'm sorry about tonight, I promise it won't happen again." He whispers as he plants a kiss on her cheek, internally seething at his mother. He's always been an upfront person; the passive aggressive jabs people took at him in high school often rolled off his back. To him it seemed as if Allison was at worst a little picky at dinner, but when Serena brought the comments up together it did sound pretty awful. He makes a mental note to call her in the morning, and rubs Serena's shoulder, slipping his hand down her side to her belly,

"I love you both," Dan says softly, kissing her again, "So, so much." She mumbles into the pillow, and he laughs a little, "What?"

"I love you too." He kicks off his shoes, wrapping a hand around her to rest on her belly. After a moment Serena takes it in her own,

"You're lucky I like you so much, Humphrey. But if she calls me fat at Rufus's birthday and you don't do anything about it, you're sleeping on the couch for the rest of your life."


	2. Chapter 2

Pointless fluff really, but lets face it; that describes the entire fic. Feel free to throw some baby names my way, I'll include them in the next few chapters as DS consider them :)

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><p>The smell of maple syrup greets Dan as he slowly rouses, and he blindly reaches for Serena only to find her side of the bed empty. Serena had always been the early riser of the two of them, but pregnancy had slowed her down, and he had become used to spending the morning in bed cuddling. He wonders if she's doing the 'nesting' thing; the last few weeks it seemed she was always redecorating, reordering or overhauling the loft. Truthfully it pleases him; since she started the loft had begun to feel more like their place than his.<p>

Dan pulls on a pair of sweatpants over his boxers, shuffling into the kitchen where his girlfriend is halfway through cooking pancakes. She looks over her shoulder, smiling at his sleepy form,

"Morning sunshine!" She says brightly, far too happy for 8am.

"..morning." He mumbles back, taking a seat at the bench and resting his head in his hands. She pushes a coffee towards him, ruffling his hair gently. Dan's always slow to wake up, and she's hoping once the drowsiness wears off he'll be in a reasonable mood.

Two weeks ago Blair had called up, starting off the conversation with _Hey Serena, you know how I've covered for you countless times in the past, and washed vomit out of your hair?_ The conversation only went downhill from there, culminating in Blair demanding her presence at a private exhibition Eleanor and Cyrus were hosting in New York. She agreed reluctantly, but has been putting off telling Dan, given one of the main artists involved.

Serena pushes a plate of pancakes across and Dan yawns, "Thankyou, but what got you up this early?" She shrugs, avoiding his question as she pours syrup on her own breakfast. They eat in comfortable silence, and when Serena refills his coffee she clears her throat quietly,

"So, Blair wants me to go to this exhibition thing tomorrow night."

"An exhibition?" Dan mumbles around a mouthful, "As in art?"

"Yeah, installation pieces, nothing too interesting. But Eleanor is a sponsor, and Blair wants someone other than Chuck she can complain to about the arty crowd."

Dan nods, "Sounds like Blair. Are you going?"

Serena plays with the hem of her baggy t-shirt, picking at the pancakes with her fork, "That's what I wanted to talk to you about, actually," Dan frowns curiously, taking a sip of coffee, "Aaron might be there."

He spits the coffee back into the cup, coughing as he shakes his head, "Aaron Rose?" He manages to get out. Serena bites her lip and nods, handing him a glass of water. He accepts it gratefully, taking a mouthful before composing himself.

"I don't want you to go." Dan's voice is firm, and he looks at Serena with a stubborn light in his brown eyes. She blows out a breath,

"Dan, I already told Blair I would go, and besides, I seriously doubt he's going to do anything with me looking like this," She points at her stomach, but his expression does not change.

"No. I don't want you to go if Aaron Rose will be there." It sounds chauvinistic, but Dan will never forget the last time they saw Aaron, all indignant and dishevelled. It was Blair and Chuck's engagement party, and he had shown up late because of a class. As he made his way through the crowd, he caught sight of Serena and Aaron in the coatroom, his hand creeping up her skirt as she tried to push him away. Dan actually felt his self-control snap as he grabbed the artist by the collar and punched him in his goatee sporting face, protectiveness winning out over rage as he turned to Serena instead of beating Aaron unconscious. The other man actually had the gall to call her a whore before walking out, and if it weren't for her delicate, shaking fingers around his wrist he would have put Blair's step-brother in the hospital.

"He was drunk, Dan, and it was before he went into rehab, he was probably high. Really, I'll be fine." Serena understands where he's coming from, and she doesn't feel particularly comfortable going, but she's been in that place before, where you do things you regret. That isn't to say she forgives Aaron, but she isn't about to run away from him.

But Dan is unyielding, and he shakes his head, "Serena. No."

She looks at him with ire, "Dan, baby or not, I am not your property, and I promised Blair." They stare each other down, blue eyes clashing with brown. His features are hard, and she can see he will not bend on this; still, her own face is unflinching.

Dan feels stupid and male, but he cannot bear the idea of Aaron Rose being in the vicinity of his girlfriend. She's got a determined glint to her eyes, and he speaks evenly, "If you go to this exhibition, I'm coming."

She rolls her eyes, "Dan, you'll be bored, and all I'll hear all night is you and Blair bitching at each other." The boy could has an Olympic level ability to hold and expression, and she sighs, "Dan-"

"Serena…" He fumbles for words a moment, "I know you'll be with Blair. And I know you'll be safe, and I trust you. But if that lecherous bastard is in the building, you are not going without me." Her eyes soften at the bare worry in his eyes, and he reaches across the table to stroke her knuckles, "I love you too much."

It's gentle and warm, and Serena can't help but smile at him, "You hate these things Dan."

"Not enough to let you go alone."

For the hundredth time she wishes she had the command over the English language he does, because everything he just said sounds so _good. _It's a trap she's used to falling into, and she relents, "Fine, but so help me if you complain about it."

The door creaks a little as someone knocks, and they both turn at the sound.

"Helloo?" Nate pokes his head into the loft, hair artfully tousled, "Oh, hey guys. I'm not too early, am I?"

Dan glances at the clock, "It's fine, but I didn't know you even knew there were two 8:30's in the day." Nate laughs, walking up to Serena and kissing her gently on the cheek. It's an awkward situation to explain, but time buries everything, including the bitterness Nate carried over their failed relationship. Serena is one of his oldest friends and Dan is his best friend, and Nate has never been a man to hold a grudge. Years later and it turns out he's one of the people most excited about their baby.

He bends down to look at Serena's stomach, "How's little Edward?"

Serena giggles, rolling her eyes, "Nate, for the last time, we are not naming the baby after that Twilight kid."

He frowns up at her, still at waist level, "Fine," Looking back to her pregnant belly, "Hello Jasper!"

Serena groans, pushing him away and piling dishes into the sink. Nate laughs and sits next to Dan, who looks at him frankly, "What?"

"Seriously, how much do you like those movies?"

Serena giggles as she hands Nate a plate of pancakes, who raises his chin indignantly, "Not at all." She turns back around, and he looks to Dan, mouthing _I love them. _Dan chuckles, leaving his friend's side to help Serena load the dishwasher, which is considerably difficult given she can't bend over. A grateful smile has him kissing her cheek, "Go sit down," he says quietly, and she pads over to take Dan's place next to Nate.

"So I heard you tried putting the cot up by yourself," Nate mumbles around a full mouth of pancake. Serena blanches at him light heartedly, "You're gross sometimes. And yes, he did try putting up the cot."

"Emphasis on the 'try'." Dan admits, drying his hands and bracing himself on the counter. Nate gives a half shrug,

"It can't be that bad."

* * *

><p>He picks up the tangle of wood, staring at it critically.<p>

"Dan, this has to be the worst attempt at construction I've ever seen."

Dan crosses his arms, frowning indignantly though he is well aware Nate's right. Suspended in the air it looks worse than it did on the ground, more like a contemporary art piece than anything else. "Yeah, I told you it wasn't my finest hour."

Nate's azure eyes widen, and he nods, "You were not kidding."

"Yeah yeah yeah, it's a tragic display of masculinity, can you fix it?" Nate laughs, dropping it unceremoniously and clapping Dan on the shoulder,

"Do you have any duct tape?"

"Duct tape?"

"If it can't be fixed with that and cable ties, it can't be fixed."

The boys spend an hour pulling Dan's mess apart, and Nate must have told him at least four times by the end of it that he isn't allowed to touch anything from that point on. So he watches, hands over pieces and screwdrivers as requested and bids Serena farewell when she goes to meet Lily for lunch.

While he tightens the bolts on the frame, Nate glances over to Dan, "So, less than a month now. You getting nervous?"

A line forms between Dan's eyebrows, "About the baby? Or about the birth?"

"Both, I guess." Nate answers, "Can I have that smaller one?"

Dan hands him a screwdriver, "Well, yeah, I mean it's hard not to be. I survived having Milo for a few months without killing either of us, so I'm not too worried." Nate stands up, working the cramps from his shoulders,

"I get that, but isn't it different now? I mean this is Serena, you know?"

Dan knows there was a time Nate loved Serena in the way he loves her now, and smiles wryly, "Yeah, I know. But Lily insisted on the best OBGYN on the east coast and the hospital we looked at could double as a five star hotel. Seriously, the room had a balcony."

Nate smirks, picking up the beer he has sitting on the windowsill and sitting next to Dan against the wall. He looks over at the chest of draws in the corner, the pile of paint cans and animal stickers.

"You're a lucky guy, Dan." Brown eyes look quizzically at him, and he gestures to where she's been preparing the baby's room, "She's gonna be one hell of a Mum."

Dan chuckles mirthlessly, "Try telling her that," he takes a sip from his own beer, noting the meticulous pattern of colours Serena picked out, "I know you know she's more insecure than everyone thinks, but I've never seen her so anxious about something the way she is about this. Plus she's fixated on the idea she's fat."

Nate frowns, "She's pregnant, isn't she supposed to be fat?"

Dan's gaze is scathing, and the blonde boy puts his hands up in a show of surrender, "Sorry, sorry, that came out wrong." Dan rolls his eyes, and Nate can tell he's actually worried about this by the slight tension in his features.

He sighs, "Dan, I've been friends with Serena since we were little kids, and I still remember how heartbroken she'd look every time Lily left her and Eric at our door. You know how she feels about her mother."

Dan does. Serena loves Lily, he doesn't doubt that, but she'd never forget the woman she knew as a child who missed first days at school and birthdays. "She doesn't want to become Lily."

"Nope. And this whole thing," Nate gestures to the room as a whole, "was sorta sprung on you guys."

Dan makes a small amused noise in agreement. The look on Serena's face, the fear and hope and panic, the soft _I'm pregnant_, it isn't something he's like to forget. But planned or no, they wanted her. _Or him, Serena still thinks it's a boy…_

"So, you think it's a bad sign for her to be insecure over this?"

Nate shrugs, "I don't know, I've never dealt with a pregnant woman before. But maybe just remember that she doesn't have a great parenting example to follow."

Dan considers his best friend a moment, "I want to know what's in this beer, because that's the most insightful thing you've ever said."

* * *

><p>"So I told them they have to take it back, I can't have a rug like that in the foyer. It disrupts the feng shui of the entire suite."<p>

Serena sips her orange juice, raising an eyebrow, "Feng shui, huh?"

"It's something Eric picked up at college, he and Simon spent an hour and a half shuffling the furniture around last Tuesday." Lily says as she picks a cherry tomato from her salad. They look polar opposites; Lily, thin and composed and Serena, all loose and full figured. The café they're at is one typical of the Upper East Side, artfully fashioned after a Roman theme. The marble columns have lianas adorning their surface, and the tables are all gilded metal with the paint sanded back to jaggedly reveal the raw surface beneath. Truthfully Serena finds the matching chair uncomfortable, but Lily loves the place because of the balcony upstairs they are currently sitting on.

"I've barely seen him since he came home, how is he?"

"He's good, very happy with this Simon. You'll like him when you meet him, I'm sure." Serena nods, leaning back in her chair, one hand resting on her belly, "Are you sure you're still okay to come to Rufus' birthday Serena?"

She rolls her eyes, "Mum, seriously. You're as bad as Dan."

"Well I remember what it's like to be that pregnant; from memory it was not enjoyable."

Serena smiles playfully, "You remember that long ago?"

Lily narrows her eyes, and her daughter giggles into her glass. Their relationship has always been a tumultuous one, but Lily had stepped up as a mother since Serena became pregnant. Every appointment Dan couldn't make, she was there, and she seemed to thoroughly enjoy baby shopping.

"How did dinner with Alison go?"

Serena blanches, picking an olive from their shared antipasto platter, "She called me fat."

There's only a handful of times Serena's ever seen Lily's protective mumma-bear look, eyes flashing with anger and her mouth falling open comically with shock, "She didn't!"

"She said it carefully and in more words, but pretty much, yeah." Her mother's nostrils are flaring, and she laughs at the enraged glint in her eyes, "Calm down Mum, Dan said he'll handle it."

Lily frowns, "Are you sure? I can retract her invitation to Rufus' birthday if you like, tell her she couldn't fulfil the dress code."

"That's sweet of you, but no. I'm sure Rufus wants her there."

"I think it's for the sake of his relationship with Jenny more than anything, she refuses to come unless Alison is there."

Serena's brow furrows as she tucks a loose strand of her behind her ear, "Really? Who is she worried about?"

Lily rolls her eyes, a familiar exasperated expression on her face, "God only knows, I mean Blair and Charles won't be there, so I'm not sure what's making her so anxious." Serena widens her eyes, mouth forming a line, "You? Oh Serena, really? That was years ago for heaven's sake."

"I'm not the one with the problem, I don't care if she's there. But you should have seen her and Alison at dinner; they were like a tag team of bitter passive aggression." Serena responds, a little indignant. Lily is right; they are both far too old to be holding grudges over what happened with Nate. But whenever she sees Jenny malice practically rolls off the girl, and Serena isn't about to meekly absorb her scorn for something the younger girl brought on herself.

"And Dan didn't say anything to them?"

Serena wrinkles her nose, "No, that sort of thing goes over his head sometimes. They were pretty sneaky about it."

Lily chews femininely, regarding her daughter with inquisitive eyes, "And that doesn't bother you?"

_Of course it does_. Serena thinks about last night, the release of anger as she pelted him with cushions. It actually eats at her more than she let on, but whenever she thinks of bringing it up to Dan she remembers all the times he's put up with Lily and Cece and Blair's snide comments, and that tempers her anger. All the same, she can't say that to Lily, so she shrugs one shoulder, "No, he said he'll handle it."

Lily raises her eyebrows, but says nothing. She takes another mouthful of salad, chews in thought for a moment, "I'll have her escorted out if she does it next week."

Serena laughs, but the look on Lily's face is serious.

_How dare she call my daughter fat._


	3. Chapter 3

Okay, I'm actually pretty dissatisfied with this chapter, but I hadn't thought the Aaron thing through and I had to do something with it. It's average, but oh well, this is meant to be a happy little ficlet, so I'll publish it so I can get on with the better chapters. Massive thanks to my reviewers, I get excited every time I see a new one has been left :)

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><p><em>Oh my God, it's worse than the last one.<em>

If she wasn't so pregnant Serena would have whipped the dress off and thrown it in ire, but she's too rotund and nowhere near flexible enough, so she settles for pulling it off in jerky movements and balling it up when she's done,

"I hate you." She says to the handful of fabric before dropping it. She stands in what used to be Dan and Jenny's rooms in the loft –garages door raised to make it large enough for her and her boyfriend- in her underwear, looking down at her tummy, "How angry will Aunt Blair be if I show up in a t-shirt and sweats?" A firm kick to her side in response has her smiling and grimacing in one expression, "Don't like that idea? Maybe you _are_ a girl."

"Or an especially effeminate boy," Dan's voice floats in from the doorway, and Serena smiles at him. He's already dressed, black suit pants with a white shirt and skinny tie. The ensemble is completed by his casual pose and ever so slightly unimpressed vibe which serves to make him seem a little awkward, and she wonders how someone can looks so sexy and so _cute _at the same time. He shuffles in, eyeing the dresses sitting on the bed and chooses his words carefully,

"You don't want to wear these ones?"

His cautious tone makes Serena giggle, and she pulls a button-down around her shoulders temporarily, "They don't fit, and you know it."

"Well, I didn't want to say anything, every man knows how prickly women get over the 'f' word." She says nothing and he blanches, "Oh God, I mean fit, not fat, I swear on my life." She laughs again, sitting on their bed and shaking her head at him,

"Calm down, I know. So, my choices for tonight are that pink thing," she points at the pastel garment hanging over a chair, "And this shirt."

"What shirt?"

"The one I'm wearing."

"Well it's hard to choose, they're both so lovely…." Dan says playfully, earning himself another smile from his girlfriend. He's never met someone the expression comes easier to; Serena's eyes, lips, cheeks- every part of her seems _made_ for it, and no matter how often she smiles it lights her- and him- up every time. It's part of why he fell for her in high school and part of why he loves her now.

As she pulls the dress over her head Dan wanders up behind her, resting his head on her shoulder and looking at them in the mirror. Serena rests her head against his, rubbing her belly, "Thank you for coming tonight," She says softly, bringing up a hand to run through his hair.

"Maybe save your thanks till afterwards, I didn't guarantee I wouldn't complain all night. Besides, I kinda invited myself, so thank you."

She turns and nuzzles his ear with her nose, "I didn't want to ask because I knew you wouldn't want to go. But I'm glad you are, there's…there's nothing I wouldn't want to take you to. So thank you."

It's Dan who turns now, pressing a kiss to her lips, "Always," He whispers, gently zipping up her dress.

* * *

><p>Twists and turns at awkward angles and a soft sheen bouncing off the dull metal, she's pretty sure it's a piece from the space station. Turning her head this way, that way, then straightening, the whole idea behind it still eludes her, and she reads the plaque beneath it again.<p>

_Interloper._

Dan turns to her, carefully discerning there's no-one around them, "My Mum's an artist and I still have no idea what the hell is going on here…"

Serena stifles giggles against her hand as Dan muses on what the twisted heap of aluminium might be, taking a sip from her glass of water. They're at a gallery space on the Upper West Side and it's more crowded than Serena would have guessed; for all her badgering about Serena's presence, Blair has barely said two words to her all night. Chuck sauntered over when they entered and greeted them, as had Eleanor and a very enthusiastic Cyrus whom she had trouble embracing between his short stature and her large belly.

"…..I mean, that could actually be a face if you look at it like- no, no, I'm wrong, it doesn't…" He keeps rambling and Serena tugs on his hand like a child, "..but there's no way someone would- what?" He looks away from the so called artwork, a line forming between his eyes, "Are you okay?"

Serena nods, "I'm going to go sit down, my feet are getting sore."

"Yeah, sure, of course." Dan immediately snaps his focus to finding a seat in an attentive way he's been fond of since she became pregnant. It fluctuates between being endearing and frustrating for Serena, but she's appreciates it more than he'll ever know.

They eventually find a hideously upholstered couch which Serena drops onto gratefully, "Oh thank God…" Dan grins at the look of sheer relief on her face as she works her feet out of the flats-heels had been out of the question for weeks. She swallows the last of her water, putting the glass on the tiny table beside the couch and Dan picks it up almost as soon as she drops it.

She grabs his wrist, "Hey, hey you don't have to.."

"I want to." He replies, smiling as he wonders off to get them both more refreshment.

Serena leans back, closes her eyes a minute and relishes being off her feet when she feels a weight on the couch to her right,

"I cannot believe you wore those shoes." Blair's voice is that curious mix of judgement and fondness she reserves for her best friend and Serena looks at her perfectly poised friend.

"Wait till you weigh more than 160 pounds then get back to me." Her delicate brow furrows in sympathy though she smiles a little,

"Oh Serena….I forgive you for living like a soccer mum in that 'apartment' in Brooklyn, but please don't start dressing like one."

She laughs, pushing Blair on the shoulder gently. Brown hair scooped up to one side in a tight tiny black dress, make-up simple yet bold and little in stature despite heels; Blair is everything Serena isn't right now. Her own blonde hair falls in cascades around her shoulders and the dress is slightly fitted to the waist where it drops freely past her middle to rest around her knees. Serena's wearing minimal make-up, the eyeliner which brings out the blue hues in her eyes being the most obvious. They've always been two sides of a coin; dark and light, lithe and curvy, grounded and wild. She's always wondered if that's the reason they're friends or of that's the reason they fight. Probably both.

Blair's face is genuinely thankful when she places a hand on Serena's arm, "Thankyou for coming, S."

"Even dressed as I am?"

Blair rolls her eyes, "Yes, though I hope to never lay eyes on _those _again." She gestures at the ballet flats sitting next to Serena's feet. Secretly Serena looks forward to when Blair becomes pregnant and she tries to waddle around in heels. "Have you seen Aaron's 'contribution' to this….grotesquery?"

"Blair, it isn't that bad." Serena responds with a smile, surveying the walls over the heads of people milling about around them.

"I can appreciate art as much as the next hippy dreadlocked college dropout, but _this_? Ugh I can't believe Mum and Cyrus cancelled a weekend in Versailles for it." Her discerning brown eyes turn back to Serena, narrowing, "Have you been through my list of name ideas for the little Van der Woodsen yet?"

Serena doesn't correct her referral to the baby's last name, it's something she and Dan haven't actually discussed. She winces in preparation, "No, we've been busy lately, I haven't had a chance." Blair makes a disbelieving little noise, "No really, we have. I've been repainting the nursery and moving the loft around and Dan's at work…." Her voice trails off a little, "…a lot."

Her diminutive eyebrows raise, and Blair smirks knowingly, "Well word to the wise; pick something before he does, unless you want a name like his cabbage patch doll."

* * *

><p>Progress through the crowd is slow as Serena pads her way around people towards the bathroom. These days it only takes a well-aimed kick and she needs to go, it's one of the aspects of pregnancy she won't miss. She smiles at the faces of people who shuffle aside for her most of whom smile back. Unaware she's being watched, Serena ducks into the deserted hoping she hasn't left Dan standing alone with their drinks.<p>

Making her way out, she's busy arranging her dress around her middle when she's stopped by a hand on her arm,

"Serena?"

Aaron's voice sends a chill through her, and she tenses under his touch and gaze. He stares at her, eyes fixated and unreadable, and Serena pulls her arm from him. He's reluctant, but slowly removes his hand. Her blue eyes level his gaze with mistrust, and she folds her arms above her belly,

"Aaron."

He looks her over, eyes staying a minute at her stomach. "I didn't think you'd be here."

"Yeah, well, I was hoping you wouldn't be. Excuse me." She turns to leave and is stopped again, this time by a hand around her wrist.

"Serena, I need to ex-"

"I don't want to hear it Aaron, we have nothing to say to each other, now let me go." She yanks at his hand and when tightens around her wrist she looks around to find them alone, the foyer attached to the bathrooms is separate to the gallery itself.

"Don't do that, Serena please, I only want to talk." She looks back at him as he reaches up to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. His fingertips against her cheek makes Serena shy away from his touch.

"Stop it Aaron, I mean it!"

Clicking of heels on the tiles has him distracted, and one last time she tries to wrench her hand free. It serves to do nothing but throw him off balance, and he staggers into her as a woman enters the foyer. Serena feels a sharp pain lance up her elbow as she hits the ground on her side, Aaron splayed to her left. Life is ironic, and it's the noise of their fall which attracts people, not the sound of her struggling beforehand. People pour into the small room and she sees Dan's eyes settle on the situation, face going from panic to rage instantly as he watches Aaron stumble to his feet, father at his side.

For a minute Serena thinks he might actually tear Aaron in half, but her welfare wins out and he's at her side immediately, hands hovering an inch above her skin as if she'll break if he touches her.

"Oh my God, are you okay? Is the baby okay? What happened, what did you land on? Are you having any pain, is she okay?" He's working himself up, catastrophizing more with each breath and she lays her hands on his face, levelling their gazes.

"I'm fine, we're fine, okay? I landed on my side, everything is fine." It's slow and deliberate, and she holds his eyes to hers as it sinks in. The concern amidst the brown warmth becomes marred with barely contained anger and she yanks his head back when he tries to move away.

"It was an accident, Dan. He was trying to apologise." Dan has always had a flammable temper, and Serena keeps staring until she's satisfied he won't do anything impulsive. She can see Aaron and Cyrus behind him, and she so cannot be bothered with the drama right now. When Dan half lifts her to her feet, she leans on him,

"Can we go home?" She whispers, and he squeezes her shoulder in affirmation.

The around them crowd has mostly dissipated, and as they make their way to the exit Dan gently tugs her to a stop. Aaron raises his gaze to them,

"I'm sorry, I never-"

"I don't care what you have to say," Dan cuts him off firmly, an edge of threat to his voice. Serena remains silent, slightly behind him, a hand resting protectively on her belly, "Don't you ever, _ever_, come near my girlfriend or my baby again. Do you understand?" Aaron nods stiffly, and though he'd like nothing more than to smack him in the entitled face, Dan believes he's apologetic. He takes Serena's hand and they walk to the elevator in silence.

_Is he angry? _She'd insisted nothing would happen with Aaron, and she can't help but feel so…stupid. And though she loves him for his staunch defence of her and she can still remember the sharp shot of adrenalin when Aaron's fingers closed around her wrist, she's a little irate that he felt as though she couldn't defend herself. Which serves only to make her feel stupider.

But his hand is warm in hers, and when he lifts it to his lips and kisses her knuckles her confliction lessens for the moment. Serena presses a kiss to his neck and rests her head on his shoulder, a hand stroking slow circles on her belly as they wait for the elevator to reach the ground floor.


	4. Chapter 4

"How about Kelsey?"

Serena wrinkles her nose as Dan's voice comes floating over from the couch, looking over her shoulder at the back of his head. It's buried in the baby name book, a worn binder book on his lap. They've been looking at names for a few months, but between him recognising every second one as a character from some book and her knowing _far_ too many people, the list of names they agree on is abysmal. Not to mention they've yet to discuss the issue of last name. Tradition holds it should be Humphrey, but Lily has been leaning towards carrying on the Van der Woodsen name and the weight it carries in high society.

"Makes me think of Kelsey Grammar…where did that come from anyway?" Serena picks up her yoghurt, making her way over to sit beside him.

"Apparently I have an aunt Kelsey somewhere."

"You want to name our baby after an aunt you've never heard of?" Her tone is light, begetting the little smile on her face.

Dan gives her a frank look, handing over the list, "I've heard of her, she smelled like old cheese and feet," Serena giggles, popping a spoonful into her mouth, "And it works for either gender if we have a boy. Which we won't."

Rolling her eyes, she pulls out a page from the pocket of her shorts and drops it into his lap. "What is this?"

"Blair's list." Serena mumbles around the vanilla yoghurt, licking a little off her top lip. Dan unfolds the paper dubiously, "Only Blair Waldorf would actually make a formal list of baby names." Serena nods, leaning over his shoulder to read them.

"Reagan? Like the president or the girl from the exorcist?"

Serena laughs again, "That one's definitely out." She reaches around his hands and scrawls it out. She peruses the names, noting how old fashioned her best friend's suggestions are. All classy, affluent sounding names, all names befitting a Waldorf or a Rhodes.

But a Humphrey?

"Margery…It might sound a little weird with Humphrey, Margery Humphrey…" Serena muses in his ear, head propped on his shoulder. Dan looks at her, sitting next to him all loose and glowing, and it takes a moment for her to realise he's staring. Her mouth is full again, so she frowns at him in curiosity.

"Humphrey?" Dan wants their baby to have his name, pride swells in him every time he imagines it, but they aren't married and he knows how important such things are to the people of the Upper East Side. His girlfriend swallows, smiling at him,

"Yeah, I mean, isn't that what you want?"

"I..well of course it is, but is that what you want? What about the Van der Woodsen name?" He hopes he doesn't sound petty when he mentions the name, but he knows in many circles people see him as an accident Serena keeps around because she fell pregnant, and it raises his hackles to think of the elitism based on surnames.

"They'll always be a Van der Woodsen, his or her last name doesn't matter. Besides, the baby should be proud to be a Humphrey," Serena leans on him, kissing him gently on the jaw, "I'm proud he's a Humphrey."

No matter how many times she says it, Dan always brightens when Serena comes out with such things. She's happy with him, she loves him, she's _proud_ of him…it's big for Dan, monumental, considering his biggest fear is that one day she'll want the title and dynasty a Humphrey can't provide. He grins, taking her chin and pressing a kiss to her mouth. He pulls away, breathes her in and pushes back against her lips.

"Mmmm you taste like vanilla.." He murmurs, setting the book aside and running a hand up her side. Serena giggles, one hand threaded between his thick dark curls and the other resting on his thigh, and he strokes her hip gently. Dan pushes more fervently at her, and when Serena begins to lean back his stomach comes into contact with hers. She stops, looking down at the prominent bump between them and meets his gaze apologetically.

"I don't think this is going to happen." There's a disappointed light to her eyes, and he isn't sure if it's directed at the situation or herself. They've always had a healthy sex life, but as pregnancy had progressed and Serena had gotten less comfortable with herself their time together had become infrequent. At this point, it was almost impossible. She's looking at him anxiously, and it takes him back to that night in this same loft, _Are you mad?_

Dan dislikes insecurity on her, and he sighs dramatically, "But you taste so good!" She smiles a little, and he takes her face in his hands and peppers it with kisses, making her laugh that four-year old laugh he loves so.

* * *

><p>"So, what have we managed to come up with so far?" Dan's halfway through the <em>'M' <em>boys names, stuck on the fact that Morpheus actually made it into a published book of baby names. Serena's sitting on the couch opposite, legs tucked up under her and leaning on a stack of cushions.

"For girls we have…Lola and Eva, and boys is Kaleb, Noah and Samson."

He considers her a moment, brown eyes narrowing imperceptibly in thought, "Samson sounds like something you'd name a Labrador.." Serena rolls her eyes good naturedly but makes a note next to the name, "At this rate, we are never going to agree on anything. He's going to be Baby Humphrey till third grade."

Dan smiles at her, stretching his legs out as he puts the book aside, "We have girls names we agree on, maybe it's a sign."

She looks at the names again, "Yeah…I don't know about this though, what if the baby doesn't look like a Lola or a Kaleb…how did your parents pick your name?"

Dan stands up and clears their mugs from the coffee table, taking them to the sink, "They had one name for a boy and one for a girl. I was always going to be Daniel."

Serena wrinkles her nose, "No-one calls you that though."

"Yeah well, Mum says I acted more like a Dan than a Daniel, not that I have any idea what that means."

Serena chuckles as she goes to stand, but she drops back to the couch feeling light-headed. Her brows knit in frustration, she's really getting over being so pregnant, and she very slowly tries to get to her feet again, "That's what I mean though, maybe it's best if we wait and see what he looks like when he's born."

Dan nods, washing the cups out and wandering back over to wrap his arms about her waist, "Works for me, as long as you don't name her while still sucking on the gas like Georgina did." Her eyes crinkle in laughter, and she loops one arm around his neck while the other rests against his face.

"I always wonder what possessed you to let her name him 'Milo'."

"I liked to believe it was after that cat from the kids movie Milo and Oatis. Then later I figured, knowing Georgina it was probably the drink and was thankful she didn't call him Coffee or Bourbon."

They both giggle, and Serena kisses him softly while he strokes her lower back.

A ringing has him pulling away from her, and he pulls out his cellphone to see Alessandra's name flashing. He shoots her an apologetic look and Serena waves him away, pulling all the sheets of paper together and slipping them into the front cover of the baby name book.

"Alessandra, hey. No, no it's fine, it's not too late.."

As Dan wanders off into the next room, Serena sighs and sits at the counter, face resting on one hand braced against the bench. His new book launch couldn't have come at a worse time with her being in her final weeks of pregnancy, and though they tried there are some things Dan simply cannot miss. He'd even attempted to postpone the whole thing, but she wouldn't hear of it; this was unplanned as it was, and her biggest fear was that he felt compelled to stay with her because of the baby or that he would put his life on hold for it. So Lily and Blair came over when she felt lonely or he was out of town for a few days, and Dan did the absolute bare minimum for his agent and publicist. Every time Alessandra rang, Serena knew it meant he had one more thing to either put off or attend, and though he did it at her behest she missed him intensely when he was gone.

Dan comes back into the room, shaking his head at the phone as he tosses it onto the couch.

"What is it?" Serena asks, frowning.

"Nothing, she wants me to go to this conference thing on Tuesday."

"What kind of thing?"

He rubs the back of his neck, "It's something about signing on for a potential trilogy over the next six years, nothing concrete.."

As quick as she is able Serena hops off the stool, "Are you serious? Dan, that's amazing!" She bounds into his arms with as much grace as a thirty six week pregnant woman can, and he loves the way she thinks of him before herself, laughing and embracing her tightly.

"Serena, we have a doctor's appointment on Tuesday, it's one of the last ones till, you know, this all happens." He says, gesturing in a round about way to her belly, and she blows a raspberry as she leans back to look at him.

"Dan, I'm a big girl, I can do that without you. This is too important for you, you're going."

Dan loves his girlfriend and their baby with every ounce he can, but when Serena says it with conviction and certainty in her blue eyes excitement buoys in him. This is the first concrete step he's been shown in terms of being more than a fly-by-night author; it's all he's ever wanted, second to the blonde being of bright exuberance in his arms now.

He smiles widely in appreciation of her consideration, her kindness, hell, just for being her, "I'm going to be an author, a real I've-written-a-series-of-books author."

Seeing him so excited makes her grin, his happiness igniting her own, and Serena plays with the thick curls at his ear, "I'm so proud of you."

He kisses her passionately, and though his joy is infectious she can't help but wonder why seems more excited about this than he was when she told him he was going to be a father. Doubt seeps into her mind, bringing insecurity and just a hint of fear. But his hand finds her own and threads their fingers together, and Serena buries it beneath layers of pure, simple happiness she finds in this moment right here, moving in to kiss him again.

_You're being paranoid._

_Right?_

* * *

><p>AN: Not a lot happened, but I don't like having massive time jumps within one chapter. Anyway, I know there's a Lola on the show (Lola, Ivy, Charlie, it's ridiculous…) but it was on the list before she popped up. Thanks to all my lovelies who are reading and reviewing :)


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